Honouring the Crickets, Forgiveness and My Victim Hat

The other day I was cleaning up some files on my computer. Yep, I do that. I apologize in advance to my future brilliant assistant but you will have your folders, and I will have my folders.
I came across the folder “Business and Personal Development” and it just wasn’t sitting right with me anymore. I didn’t like the way it read. I like thinking I’m in charge around here (Creator and Guides aside…) so I changed it.
I removed “Business”. I decided that everything I bring to the table, for myself and for others is personal. The development of ME is personal.
When ME get good – ME business gets better.
Business Development to me sounds like – ick. I don’t need anymore ick in my life, I’ve had enough.
As I browsed through that folder, I saw the names, classes and downloads of the MANY Healers, practitioners, business coaches, and intuitive readers, that I have paid/hired and/or acquired their freebies. It really got me thinking about my evolution in the last couple of months with my business/work of art/heartbeat/love/passion Rock Your Mud.
I also thought about how many of those “named individuals” in that folder list, didn’t get me what I needed. The b*stards. Some of you may even be reading this post!
Pardon me while I adjust my victim hat.
They didn’t give me what I needed. Or did they? (and they weren’t really b*astards but I was angry for a minute or 10 months)
Sigh. **removes victim hat**
From these lovely folks I received a whole lot of what I knew I didn’t want to be, and a whole lot of what not to do. Which is priceless, because my parents gave me that also. It showed me some clarity and I had some deep personal healing throughout all of my experiences.
Being the A+ perfectionist student I am, I applied what I could, laughed at the rest and cried to good friends who supported me through all my many ordeals with all the experts who were going to “make it better”. Unrealistic expectation numero uno.
I can’t blame anyone for what they did or didn’t do for me.
I can be disgruntled about it, but that doesn’t help either. Well that was cool while the victim hat was on. But I’m good at getting sick of my own crap pretty quickly now.
What I choose to do now, is to trust it was exactly what I needed at the time and place of where I was at.
I let someone know yesterday that I carried a lot of dark and negative energy around an experience we’d shared during some coaching time we’d shared. Wait what?
You see the deeper I get into my work now, and working with the people I am honoured to work with as a Mentor and Intuitive Healer to/for them, the more I see how easy it is to become wrapped up in leading a business the way “someone else” shows us how to do it. Rather than leading the business through my own heart and soul.
That was the ticket. Every time a teaching/coaching/mentorship/healing felt “OFF” to me, was when it wasn’t being driven by that persons soul. It was being driven by that persons mentor, fear, parent approval, ego, flying spaghetti monster, or tip of the week.
One of the things I share with people in general as well as the people that choose me to work with them, is to give themselves silent time. EVERY DAY.
You can’t get clear on what it is you bring to the world if you don’t get quiet enough to hear yourself.
As helpful as other people are, you must build time into your life to “stop listening”…. to everyone else. Hired professionals, family, friends and others. Close your listening holes, and hear what’s on the inside.
In the last handful of months, I have stopped listening to others in a big kind of deleting/blocking/unfollowing/ignoring kind of way, and spent a whole lot of time listening to me.
Sometimes, you have to let go of everything to see what remains.
Some days I get so much information I don’t know what to do with it all, other days, crickets. Crickets are scary, because crickets make you think there’s nothing else, or there’s no more, or the information train has stopped.
But it hasn’t.
It’s just your Soul giving you a break.
We need to take breaks to breathe, have fun and also process what we’ve received.
Please forgive the people who didn’t GIVE YOU what YOU WANTED. Choose to trust that maybe you got what you needed.
Please make time to listen to yourself.
Please honour the crickets.
Please honour your evolution because it’s happening.


I talk quite a bit about mindset because it is my superpower. Just like your mindset is your superpower.

New Moon’s are about manifesting. We cannot see the new moon so she is forgotten. Just like our mindset. We don’t “see” it so we forget about it.

When I stopped living my life needing proof…
When I stopped being jealous and angry over what others had and I didn’t…
When I stopped seeing change as a terrible thing…
When I stopped fearing tomorrow, next week or next year…
When I decided to trust and believe…

When I started living as if everything I’d wanted already existed in my life….
Things turned around dramatically for me.
The last two and a half years of my life have been purely 100% manifested.

As I spend my day in ceremony with this power, this medicine, this gift that we all have I will feel gratitude of what has unfolded for me, been shown to me, and the experiences I have been offered in the last two and a half years.

My manifesting work has happened on and off before this time frame, but I wasn’t conscious of it. It was spotty and I was still thinking “things just happen”. This has been a consistent two and a half years of conscious creation.

Will you decide today to start consciously creating?

Will you decide today to take fierce responsibility for your mindset?

Will you decide today to design a life you love? Or maybe just design an hour you love and go from there?

Embrace this new moon and embrace your beautiful mindset, it’s waiting for you.💜🦄🌑🤩mindset

What Comes After Great Loss

From the Heather Archives August 21 2016

Current Update: August 21 2018 – The direction that my life headed in after experiencing that loss, is a direction I am grateful for, it brought me to a level of clarity, wellness and direction I had previously not experienced. It has given me gifts, experiences and love. Each day I become even more focused and stronger in my knowing, and “home” has a new beautiful meaning once again.

August 22, 2014, I walked into my first home. Yes, Luna and I had lived in many places before, but none of them were home. We packed the essentials, kitty litter, bed, and food. A duvet, couch cushions (to sleep on), my pillow, and a change of clothes. Trying to move the darling Queen kitty on the day of the move had always been nothing shy of a nightmare with her, so this time I got wise. We would spend the evening in our home, sleeping on the floor, camped out, and excited as all hell to be in a place to call my own. Of course neither of us got much sleep, since I would gasp and hide under the duvet and she would bury her head at the various sounds and the things that go “bump in the night” when it comes to sleeping in new places. One thing was for sure, we had one another, and we were going to enjoy every minute of this part of our adventure.

In her eyes, the condo had wall to wall bed (carpet). She would roll around in the sun, and always retreat to the solarium whenever I left the door open for her. Whenever I was on the balcony she’d sit inside on my step and look out at me, upset because I was out of reach. About a year after we moved in, it became evident that my girl was getting older, not as spunky, and a bit more pained. From raised food bowls, to using an ottoman so she could get up on the bed, I made sure that she was able to do whatever she needed with ease. Unfortunately, Luna was only able to enjoy living here for just over a year, before age and illness took us down another path. It was time for her to be freed of her pain. For me, a whole new level of pain to heal.

As I held her for her last breath, I wasn’t sure how I could continue, she was my rock, and what most people don’t know, is that she had saved my life, but now I had to comprehend ending hers.

I still don’t.

I thought I would be able to celebrate this two year anniversary, as we all know I love any reason to celebrate, but I am torn with deep bittersweet feelings. I’m grateful to have my home, my space, my sanctuary. I worked hard for it. I struggled for it. I busted serious ass and spent a great deal of time healing my life journey to get to where I am.

One thing that remains forever changed, is how different home feels, without her here. Tonight, I pray that she visits me, her energy infuses with mine, and I get to feel what home feels like again. Just one more time.

You Can’t Call Yourself a Healer

It has taken me a few days to compose this. I’ve been pulled in two different directions between “Human-ing” and “Spiritual-ing”. Which makes sense; and also doesn’t make sense. Yay!

Some of you may have seen my post the other day about the 111 message.

“Angel Number 111 encourages you to assist and inspire the human race via your natural abilities, relying upon your inner-wisdom and intuition to guide you. Be an inspirational guiding light to bring illumination to others and to help raise spiritual awareness.”

Illuminate. And Natural. Abilities.

I had to let that sink in for a moment. So, I was born with this. I’ve been, on the right path?

Just the other day I was talking about “un-traditional” healing methods; and “un-conventional” medicine. As the conversation went on; it hit me so clearly. These are our innate natural abilities and we all have them. There’s nothing “un” about any of it. Our ways, are the natural ways. We’ve just been conditioned and taught to believe differently.

Questioning myself isn’t a new concept. For those of you who’ve known me for a long while know that this is something I do regularly. I wasn’t born with that, but I was conditioned to believe I wasn’t good enough. I was wrong. I wasn’t who I said I was. Feeling like a fraud for many years of my life. It has taken a lot of soul searching and work to get to now. Some days, it’s exhausting.

Excellent clarity.
I’ve got this.

Then, just to keep things fun, the Universe throws an experience, or I call in an experience depending on your school of thought, to once again question myself.

A few weeks back I met someone who said, “we can’t call ourselves healers”. YOU, Heather can’t call yourself a healer.

I felt like I’d be stabbed. I mean I’ve never been stabbed, but if I was, I’m thinking that’s how it would have felt.

How was I going to rise up and meet this one. In a matter of minutes, I couldn’t hear what the person was saying anymore, and down the mental rabbit hole I went. I saw myself dashing home to polish up my “corporate resume” just in case the “Label Police” came after me and I needed to find a “real job”.

Then, it changed, and I quite literally snapped out of it when the person who had said this stepped out of the room at the time. I turned to my friend who was with me during this experience and I said, (and when I say I, I mean, the part of me that “knows”) but I am Faith Healer. I’ll spare the rest of the conversation, and I do respect this “you can’t call yourself a healer” person for their ability to stand in their belief and power; and this is me standing in mine.

A few weeks and a whole lot of processing and reflection later…

Am I a “Healer”? Let’s break it down. I am a channel for energy work. I am a channel for intuitive insights, that are delivered through me, not “by” me, I connect with those who have passed when they want to come through, I wave my hands, flap my arms,(seriously I do..that’s the Thunderbird..) I say the words, and people feel better. Is that a healing? Does that make me a healer?

The inquiry goes on, and what I do know for sure, is we all have the ability to heal ourselves or destroy ourselves.

I can, and have done both. I destroy everything that no longer serves and therefore heal parts of myself. I’ve also destroyed myself a few times over. But Unicorns have unlimited lives so it’s all good. Thankfully I’m a lot less soul destructive these days.

When I am in ceremony with someone; I illuminate perspectives ideas and way, and then it is up to them to decide if they want to continue to destroy or heal.

Another viewpoint, I have the ability to illuminate the possibility of healing if the recipient wants it. Does that make me a “healer”? One who helps with healing? I could go in circles with this all day! Someone stop the merry go round!

I’ve decided that I will no longer refer to my medicines, talks, gifts, services or offers as “alternative” or “non-traditional” or “un-conventional”. These “old labels” are no longer aligned or acceptable for me. I won’t hide, or play small, or disregard what I am hearing daily. No more.

Why? Because these are NATURAL abilities. When something is natural. it is not alternative! I look around and I see plant medicine, and trees and grass and I feel alive and empowered – they are natural are they not? They are not un-conventional. They are healers.

As I write this I see a little brown bunny having a brilliant time on my neighbours lawn and he keeps calling my attention. He is calm, and perfect, and natural. He, is a healer.

This whole experience was for me to deepen into my truth. My undeniable, healing truth.

I stand before you; humbled, yet powerful, grateful, yet in awe, knowing, and clearer than I have ever felt.

Faith Healer 💜🦄

Believe 💫

At 5:15 this morning while White Eagle was still sleeping, I tiptoed (as much as one can tiptoe in a trailer) to the kitchen to make a coffee and enjoy some morning ME time. For my sanity, and well let’s be honest, the preservation of others.

I reached into the cabinet to pull out a mug, after hitting the others of course…

Sidebar: why is it when you’re trying to be quiet you’re
I N S A N E L Y L O U D?!

This mug is one of two of my favourite things with the word Believe and both were dollar store finds! Double bonus! This mug and I have had many mornings together. Mornings of quiet contemplation, reflection, decisions made, questions answered, feelings felt. I have shed almost more tears over the power of the statement on this mug, than I have watching Grey’s Anatomy.

As I stood there this morning, mug in hand, I looked down at my arm, and realized how often we are asked “how” we created a life we love.

I can hear the conversations, and they often go something like this…

Heather, how did you create this though? How did your life evolve to where you wanted it?

I manifested it.

No seriously how did you do it? Did you win the lottery?

I believed.

Okay come on, be serious, don’t give me this airy fairy, fluffy, positivity stuff. Tell me how you called in all the things that you are always glowing about?

Let me show you something. I rise my arm and show my Unicorn tattoo, and I say, It’s about…. Believing. When you choose to believe, then, and only then does it happen. Yes that’s right when I hit 35, I decided to start believing in Unicorns. So much so that a million little needle marks made it permanent on my arm.

Other person: Okay fine. I know.. but.

The first place to start is dropping the phrase “I know but..”

I know but. The greatest line ever to hold the energy of non-believe-ing.

Stop. Let that sink in for a minute.

You are actively NOT believing when you add ~ “I know but” to a sentence.

Where are you “I know but-ing” in your life?

As I stood there and this message came through to share, a song popped into my head. A song that was written and released 25 years ago. Something shook me, I felt sadness for all the people who don’t believe. Because I know what it’s like, to not. I too had what I call an “existence” before choosing to believe there was more, or better, or at least a certain level of “okay-ness” that I wasn’t experiencing yet.

I extracted a couple lines from Believe (’93) by Lenny Kravitz and Henry J. Hirsch.

If you want it you got to believe
Believe in yourself
‘Cause being free is just a state of mind
We’ll one day leave this all behind
Just put your faith in God (Creator/Universe/WhatSuitsYou/HigherPower) Hot tip
And one day you’ll see it
The future’s in our present hands  this
Let’s reach right in
Let’s understand
If you want it you’ve got to believe  and this!

You see, I had to deeply commit to Believing. Now, every single day, multiple times a day, I am shown. I am given more evidence than I could ever ask for to help me keep going.

If you’ve made it this far, I thank you. I thank you for allowing me to share a piece of my heart with you. A piece of soul. A piece of our “Wow”.

An Invitation.

Are you ready for more? Are you ready to surrender? Are you ready to embrace now? Are you ready to Rock Your Mud? Are you ready to Believe? Are you ready to consider just one little bit, that maybe if you gave Believing a fraction of the effort you put into not-believing, you may Design a Life You Love?

I invite anyone who feels called, to join my humble beautiful space, and a group of love filled, focused people here at Rock Your Mud I talk abundance, gratitude, healing, the down and dirty of the mud and life, to the sparkling shine of magic and wonder… and just so much more.

My mission is to help as many people as I can.

It’s time. It’s your time.

Faith Healer 



Surrender To the Magic

If you had told me that White Eagle and I would co-create all of these changes that have come through in the last few months I’d have laughed.
A handful of months ago we had casually chatted about what we wanted; but we didn’t know how it looked, or when it would happen or how. In those moments we were choosing to stay in the city.
We were choosing to stay at our jobs, and our life as it was. Please know, that we knew and we trusted – that one day down the road something would shift; we didn’t know when or how and we certainly take any typical specific action to make it happen.
Today, as White Eagle enters his 4 day closing ceremony of his tenure at his current job; I sit here reflecting, balanced, focused and felt compelled to share with all of you just a little bit of this chapter.
Our chosen family, our friends, our supporters, our kindred spirits and those who just need a little something to sip on this morning.
When January of 2018 rolled around my energy, mood and general attitude was in a less than stellar state. Things just were not feeling okay for me. Day in and day out, life was really kicking my Unicorn ass. As I dragged myself into work every day, there were days I’d be in tears in the parking lot, or at home afterwards because I just couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t the job or the people; it was me. It just didn’t align anymore; and I was hurting deeply because of it.
I knew things needed to change; years of personal development, studying and counselling others, thankfully I was taking a dose of my own medicine.
When March rolled around, we didn’t set out and look for a new apartment; or a new job, or do anything typical that would involve finding these things. It was just hey wouldn’t it be nice if… or.. oh hey you know what we should do… and that excitement shifted something in me. It changed my vibration. I went from depression and malaise to engaged and alive again. We just talked about how good it would be; we didn’t spend countless hours searching, waiting wondering, pining for something new.
I just woke up one morning and while trying to decide on switching a cellular service; said WTF am I doing this now for on a Saturday morning; and I heard in my head “go on Kijiji look at Stouffville apartments right now.” That’s how we found it. It was that easy. It was that ‘done’.
In May, while laughing hysterically at the fact that yet another HR manager was leaving the company I was at, the words “Help me leave too” came out of my mouth. Eyes wide; I had my “oh FFFFFF###%%” what just came out of my MOUTH?! moment.
How do you call this in? How do you connect to this divine way of being? How do you just “be okay”?
We surrendered. We took our hands off the wheel. We stopped projecting, we let go of control, we don’t push things, we don’t demand.
We surrendered to whatever the Creator had in the plan for us.
You see when we first started out; I didn’t even know we would make it. I joke now when I say; our relationship was on Tuesdays because back then that was White Eagle’s only day off. That was my first big surrender.
I remember praying; okay Creator, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing because I feel something here. I see something here; and by golly it is NOT what I had thought it would look like, but this is on you man. Seriously! That’s pretty much exactly what I said.
As the Creator spoke to him, and to me, things just unfolded, naturally.
The more we surrendered, let go of beliefs and ideas on ‘shoulds’, released expectations and standards, the more aligned we became to our own individual truths, and ultimately remained connected.
In order for us to arrive at today; we had to allow the death of the old.
If you had told me a year ago; I’d bit sipping sacred cacao from Guatemala, just barely a week and a half since leaving my corporate world job, listening to tribal music, channeling dead people, conducting intuitive readings and healings and home clearings and have the love of my life support me with every move and shake rattle and roll I could come up with in the last few WEEKS (not months, not years.. weeks) I’d tell you; you were nuts.
I still wake up some days and my first thought is… “wow”.
If you’d told me that by leaving my job; my feet, legs, hips and back would stop hurting me so much it was almost debilitating I wouldn’t have believed you. (And I’ve studied and taught this stuff for years).
Here’s some TMI stuff just to drive the point home a little harder…
If you told me that my IBS symptoms would D I S A P P E A R almost overnight, I’d have laughed at you until I sent you into orbit as stardust. Yep I’m that sassy.
If you had marked on a calendar that my moon time would return to normal exactly 3 days after wrapping up some “when are you leaving” details at that day job, I’d have eyerolled.
If you’d suggested that my new state of being would be this thing called “relaxed” – You’d have gotten a “ya ya.. sure.”
Ifs, ands, buts, and hows – have no place here now.
Part of my path and gift, is to share. To be an example of what is possible. I share it because you’re witnessing two people who have chosen to live their life very differently than they once did. Two people who have had brilliant moments; and down right—this-might-kill-me- moments. Two people who are so ridiculously humbled, grateful and amazed by what this life truly is; that we just look at one another some times and sit in the ‘wow’.
Thank you for being in the wow with us.
Faith Healer 💜🦄

So Much More Than Ink

Two years ago today; this beauty was inked into my arm. All of my tattoos have very intention and deep meaning for me. Not just because they are “cool”; but because I so strongly feel them and want them to be a permanent part of my existence.
I don’t know when Unicorns suddenly became “all the rage”, but I love to share with people that I embraced Unicorn medicine from my soul. I loved Unicorns separate from their “fad-like” and over-commercialized use; and I will continue to embrace their magic long after the fad leaves.


Unicorns represent to me everything I’ve known in my soul for, forever. That magic is real. That believing in magic brings incredible things. That you can be anything you want to be. You can create anything you desire in your life.

But what’s fascinating is that it took me until 35 years old to embrace it FULLY. To let it shine; to show up; to be me; to allow myself to be seen. To celebrate, this tattoo was born and upon my arm it lives.

Recently I’ve been reflecting on all the things that have transpired in the last couple of years; and this was just another one of those incredible moments in time that I stepped up for myself and committed to my life again.

People ask me, “How do you just change?”. I let them know that Step 1 – is to decide. Decide to believe; because your best thinking got you to where you are today; and if you don’t like where you are today; you need to decide to choose differently.

What do you decide today?


Faith Healer 💜🦄

Unicorn Tattoo April 29