Laundry as therapy, and blanket fort escapes

Sometimes… I find myself in quiet reflective states.  I don’t want to connect with anyone, I want to be alone, and not have to do anything for anyone else.

I remember a scene from Grey’s Anatomy a season or two ago. One of the main characters disappears for a day.  She locks herself in a hotel room, and no one can reach her.  At the end of her ‘escape’ she explains, [not a direct quote.. but the general idea of..] she just didn’t want to be a wife, a mom, a doctor, a friend, or a daughter for a minute. She just wanted to be left alone with herself. 

After a few days of intense focus and work, I find myself needing time for incubation, and a mindless-do-nothing break.  Even for a few hours, hiding in a blanket fort once in a while because I can. 

So many of us do so much for others in so many ways.  In the work I do, I have to be very aware of my energy and my capacity.  I have to carefully watch my time and my work load.  Doing readings, healings and the channeling coaching calls I do, take a lot of energy.  My body is being used in a way that is completely different than any other “job”, or work I’ve done.

I was sharing with someone recently that I had been making intentional trips to do my laundry at the laundromat rather than in my building because it gave me a moment to read a book.  It felt like a vacation.

I was sharing with someone else while folding my laundry, that the only reason I decided to do laundry that day was because everything else had gone sideways, at at least this way I felt like I’d accomplished something.

Apparently laundry is healing for me. But no, I don’t want to do yours. 😉

I’ve also noticed that after dinner, I like to get outside, go for a drive, listen to a few tunes and sing.  I find this grounds and centers me.

Are you feeling a bit off kilter? Do you need something that helps you get realigned? What are you missing that you once did regularly that you know helped you feel good?

I had an epiphany the other day.  They don’t happen often, and I’m still wishing for fireworks and glitter to fall from the sky when it does happen. But I had this big awareness around what happens to me if I don’t sleep well, eat poorly, or miss taking intentional breaks. I essentially completely throw myself off for a couple of days.

Speaking of noticing things, I used “happen(s)” way too much in that last paragraph.

If I miss my sacred morning time, my day is done. It’s that easy for me to become derailed and I now make it an intentional choice to sit and plan what I’d like to get done that day and what has to get done that day, while sipping my first coffee of the day.

I’ve always been sensitive this way, and I never understood why.  It was my mind and body’s way of being primed for this work that I’m so grateful to be able to show up and do.  In re-reading the above section, I thought hmmm does this sound like I’m complaining? Nope. Just being me, showing up in this moment of awareness and understanding what I need. Also bringing the “real deal” to the table for those of you who have expressed how much you appreciate that aspect of me.

July was wild. I had incredibly busy and intense days. I accomplished so much, provided service to so many, and just feel so blessed for all the work I was chosen for.

In all of that, I’ve had to give myself permission to relax, to be less rigid, and remind myself that it is perfectly okay to work at a pace that suits my soul, and yet, every day I still have moments where I struggled to surrender to this flow. 

When was the last time you gave yourself permission to go at a pace that feels less rushed or pressured? Rocking your mud looks different sometimes, and remember that’s all part of it. Learning how to go with it gracefully and with ease. When was the last time you sat for a moment to plan and decide, rather than dashing out the door, or bolting off the start line the minute your feet hit the floor in the morning?

If you give this quiet reflection planning a whirl, I’d love to hear how it goes.

Wishing you a wonderful easy-flowing and graceful August.

Waking Up Grumpy

No, that’s not the name of a loved one or a fur baby. It’s just sometimes what happens. We wake up grumpy.

Maybe you were startled, maybe you had a rough sleep, maybe you have noticed a discomfort in your body, or maybe you’re just not even sure why you woke up grumpy but you did. 

Humaning can be hard right?

So what are our options?

1 – create a day based on grumpy energy

or


2 – check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Take the time to pause and notice your breathing. Hand on heart, or not.  If you’ve already gotten up, just sit or stand where you are.

Close your eyes, and breathe.

Now, think of 3 things you’re grateful for before proceeding with your day.

I find this little exercise makes a big difference between starting off with complaints and grumpiness or a gracious and peaceful heart.

Do you practice gratitude? Or are you looking for a place for daily accountability? Join the Rock Your Mud Community on Facebook.

 
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March Full Moon – Deepen Your Journey

We have the Full Worm Moon, the 3rd and final supermoon of 2019, and we also have the spring equinox.

All.
On.
The.
Same.
Day.

That’s right, Wednesday March 20th is all kinds of awesome and a free confetti cannon.

I want to offer some Heather magic, my personal take, and some information on symbolism.

Spring is a fresh, brilliant, and beautiful beginning.

The winter months have passed, the seeds have been long planted, and now, we can feel a new gratitude for the beauty we are shown.

Based on teachings of the Native Medicine Wheel or Sacred Hoop, Spring, is held in the east direction and is also yellow in colour.

The eastern direction is where we start our day with the rising of the sun. I’ve always felt a strong affinity to facing east, and the rising sun.

Yellow, is the colour of the solar plexus chakra. The Sanskrit word for the solar plexus is Manipura, translated as ‘shining gem’, It is about our personal power, it does not mean power over others; it means self-mastery. It, empowers you to follow and not be distracted from your true path.

True path = Integrity. Soul Integrity. I teach and speak of this often. Most days, I live it, and even on the difficult days, I learn, and return to true path.

Yellow is also a primary colour from a single ray of light.

I believe, we are all source energy. We are all one.

The yellow also represents the fire quadrant of the medicine wheel.

At this time, although we are welcoming the new with spring, we are also casting out the old with the sacred fire.

Fire has been a daily tool, with candles, and burning all that no longer serves.

The Eagle is also represented in this quadrant of the medicine wheel. When we consider the Eagle, or Condor medicine of the Shamans we know that the vision of the eagle is to show us the bigger vision and picture of the world, but also of ourselves.

When I work with others, I hold and illuminate the highest vision, and healed version of the the person. Although we are not broken, and we are not in need of fixing, it is the mind that confuses us into thinking so. With Eagle/Condor medicine, we journey and fly above so that we may see our soul, our truth.

Tobacco is the sacred medicine that is used for offerings. At this time, we give thanks/gratitude to surviving our hibernation period, and we give thanks for another trip around the sun, and the day that greets us.

Gratitude is one of the many game changers I speak of. It is a component that many of us take for granted, myself included at times. I’ve come to believe that it is a lifestyle choice, to perceive our experiences with gratitude.

This is one full moon, of many, that I hold a deeper respect for the gifts I have been gifted.

I am grateful, humbled and blessed.

Yours in service,
Heather

February 4, 2019 – A chapter

Staring in her cup of coffee, head tilted forward, a single tear escapes her eye and drips right in. She’s drank many a tear before.
 
This rumbling anxiety stirs in her heart just below the surface as she sits, and glances at the clock one more time. Wondering, waiting and hoping that the day isn’t lost, again.
 
Dreams of the past flash through her mind just like in the movies. Only rather than witnessing, she feels it all again, a nightmare on a loop.
 
Sitting silently, she wonders what is next. Boredom and sadness have surrounded her. She tiptoes around the corner of her mind, looking for something to grasp at.
 
Something to zero in on and unravel, but there is nothing.
A hollow shell once filled with a symphony of thoughts, questions and confusion, sits vacant and void. Then she spots it. A door with a sign that says The Rabbit Hole. She slowly turns the knob and it falls off in her hand. As it crashes to the floor there is no sound. Have I gone deaf she wonders?
 
Banging the door, shoving it, picking at the space where the door knob once was. In the darkness and silence it refuses to open. She takes a few steps back and with all her might she throws her full body against the door. With a great thud, she bounces backward, crashing to the floor of her mind, and understands she is very disoriented but still cannot put thoughts together or make any sense of where she is or why she’s trapped.
 
She was dying. She didn’t know it, as her understanding and concept of the situation was not clear. She was trapped between the two worlds, the hall way in between. It was dark, there was no flash of brilliant white light, no welcome wagon or gates. But she was dying.
 
Dazed, she turned her head to the side and glanced once again at the door wondering when she would ever get out. In that moment, she heard the word surrender. It was the first cognitive moment she’d had since she’d been trapped.
She closed her eyes, relaxed into her body and “felt” surrender. It was like floating and being fully supported effortlessly. She was lighter, freer and calm. As she opened her eyes, she saw The Rabbit Hole door had shrunk in size and was no longer an option to escape through. But beside it, a new door was now open, with a warm inviting glow.
 
In her chest she could feel the warmth, the energy, the knowing, that this was the right door. With ease, she stepped through the doorway and immediately felt the door snap shut behind her.
 
She understood there was no going back.
 
There is no going back.
There is no going back.
There is no going back.

January 11, 2019  –  True Good Happiness

Chia seeds and ink for my printer was all I was setting out for today. Then, things changed.

I realized I hadn’t gone on a drive with tunes cranked recently. Just because I could. In the past this was cheaper than therapy for me.  It brought me the most joy during many challenging times in my life.  The escape.  I could clear my head, go away, and when I felt ready I’d come back. Some days I fantasized about seeing how far I could get before things felt good and what my new name would be when I started over. But I’d eventually chicken out and come back to the madness of my life, just a bit calmer.   The truth is I couldn’t possibly ever go far enough in those days to feel good. True good. Not fake good.

Now, true good, greets me every single day. My head is often clear, and I don’t remember when I last desired an escape like the days of the past. Today’s drive was to remind me of freedom.

Freedom that I have daily now. Freedom that I have chosen to create.  It was to also remind me of all the things I’d dreamed of creating during those escape drives, were now, in my life.

I reach a particular point in my journey, a few turns around a beautiful lake near our North Sanctuary/Summer Home/Trailer. I can feel this “thing” in my chest. It’s rising up, and it grips me.

 

Happiness.

 

Not just ordinary happiness, but happiness that brings tears to your eyes and gratitude through every cell in your body.  True good happiness.

Coldplay’s song O (Fly On) happened to be playing during this moment and it went right through me. Later as I poked around on the internet, my take away is that it’s about completion, death to old stuff, memories, and how everything is always forward moving.

So fly on… ride through.. Maybe one day I’ll fly next to you. My one day, was today, and I was flying on with Faith Healer. She is no longer out of my reach. We are one.

A few days before my birthday I could feel this change happening.  Describing it now it felt like a merging of sorts. I didn’t understand it, but something was different in me.

The day after my birthday I woke to the image of this symbol )0( <– imagine that’s the Triple Goddess Symbol (then you can go google if you’re not sure).  It represents The maiden, mother and crone.  I didn’t know that was the symbol at the time and had to ask a couple friends about it.  This isn’t the first time I’d seen it of course but this was the first time it was in my mind so vividly and purposefully.

It took a few more days and some discussion to really know why this symbol came to my awareness and showed up for me.

Today as this happiness took over every part of my existence and created a waterfall of emotion, I realized that The Crone, the wise one, the knower, the teacher of the knowledge that without death there is no birth, arrived in my body in a way that I’ve been starting to allow.  In a way that has taken me by surprise.

Faith Healer, is the Triple Goddess all rolled into one.  I feel I’ve reached a point of knowing Soul Truths in a way that had previously escaped me or I rejected.

Faith Healer is the wise healer self that shows up in these words, my work with others, my channeling.  She is the whole of all that ever was and is Heather, before Heather was even Heather. When I step into my Faith Healer self, rather than the Heather suit, the world is divinely different and beautiful.

It all had to play out this way. Every single minute.  If you’re feeling hopeless, or inspired, this is for you to keep going, or to start.

It may appear easy for me to sit here and celebrate my life. To bring words to the page on how I’ve created my life from scratch.  From pen to paper, visioning my life into existence. From my career, to my partner, to financial security, to homes, to experiences to vehicles. You know what? It is easy for me to share it, because I know it’s true and I know it’s possible for everyone. But it wasn’t easy to get to this moment.

The anxiety, the depression, the addictions, the fears, the not enough sleep, the arguments, the childhood challenges, the false beliefs, the systems, the paradigms, the drama, the pain, the so called failures, the not-good-enough-ness, the sickness, the diets, the weight, the abuse, the workplaces, the schools, the mistakes, the insanity, the medication, the choices, the suicidal thoughts.

All of the madness has brought me to this moment and shown me the way.  It was never a straight line paved with sunshine and glitter. There were twists and turns. Detours, sink holes and every single detail of my life feeling like it was regularly under construction without any warning or caution signs.

I didn’t wake up after some rock bottom moment, or Angel vision or brilliant flash of light during a freak incident I which I found myself in a chat with Jesus or Satan.  It’s been more like repeated experiences of “what the F**K” moments. That’s the truth.  I was simply, doing life, the way I’d been shown to do it. The way I thought was the way to do it. Until I got sick of it. Until I got sick of the same old story, with the same old Heather driving the train to and through crazy town.  People will tell you that they saw glimmers of hope in me. Glimmers of direction, but I also know some saw a deeply troubled young woman even though she tried to hide her realities.  Heather always had it together. No matter what.  Except for when she didn’t. Which very few witnessed.

I’m not sure last week was my 38th birthday.  It feels more like my 1st birthday for brand new beginnings, and my 100th birthday from the wisdom that found the way through me and into some sort of comprehensible way this morning.

In the last few days, parts of my life that needed healing flashed before my eyes. My nights have been filled with frightening dreams, sleeplessness, and discomfort.  My days filled with frustration, lack of focus and processing. Certain words by certain people. Judgments, comments, pain points.  Their beliefs about why certain things couldn’t or wouldn’t happen. Or shouldn’t happen.   My soul truth looked at these things, felt these things and allowed them to fall away.  I’ve carried so much of that for so long, and now it was time for me to be free of them.

It doesn’t matter where you’ve been, what you’ve done, who you think is to blame (there is no blame by the way), it can all change.  It can all become brilliant, beautiful and better.

Know this, your faith in what you can create, needs to be bigger than your faith in your doubts, troubles and pain.

I’ve done it, I’m doing it. You can too.

Love,
Faith Healer

 

It’s Christmas Day!

Follow your heart.
Do what feels right.
Spend time with who lights your soul up.
Have an exit plan if needed.
Have quiet and care time scheduled if these days are tough.
Know that your feelings aren’t wrong.
Make the day special to you.

All love.

 

RYMcrew

 

Wisdom Wednesday – Underwear

I just got out of the shower, and as I was getting ready to start my magic for the day, I actually dug through my underwear drawer because there was a specific pair I wanted to put on.

Yep, I know. When you’re living as an Intuitive you learn to surrender that messages are going to show up on your underwear.

Or..

Shaving your legs.
Cleaning out the fridge.
Massaging your feet.
Your odometer.
Making stew in the crockpot.

You get the idea.
But back to my undies.

I finished getting dressed.

Made a second cup of coffee.

Sat down and said oh okay. This is happening. I’m going to write about my underwear wisdom. It has taken me the entire month of November of churning, processing, and wondering when my next piece of writing may show up, and here it is. Underwear.

 

Is this also why we are told we should put a fresh pair on every day? So we get inspired and have learning moments?

 

Also, we need to stop calling it a pair of underwear.  This is archaic information, much like the information and believe system I was trying to work with for the last handful of months.

 

Follow That Dream – Boom. There it was. Like a deck of oracle cards smacked upside the head, or a Unicorn stabbing me in the rear.
I’ve been chasing the dream for so long, that I forgot the difference between chasing and following.

 

Chasing feels like:

-a death grip

-things not going right

-the plan always missing the mark

-failure

-not good enough-ness

-stuck-ness

-Fear based actions and choices

Following feels like:

-Serenity

-Freedom

-Trusting

-Going with the flow

-Intuitive Mood

-Breathing

-Celebration

-Love based actions and choices

Friends, give yourself permission to stop chasing and start taking action steps to follow and create your dream.

 

Love,

Heather FollowThatDream