So Much More Than Ink

Two years ago today; this beauty was inked into my arm. All of my tattoos have very intention and deep meaning for me. Not just because they are “cool”; but because I so strongly feel them and want them to be a permanent part of my existence.
I don’t know when Unicorns suddenly became “all the rage”, but I love to share with people that I embraced Unicorn medicine from my soul. I loved Unicorns separate from their “fad-like” and over-commercialized use; and I will continue to embrace their magic long after the fad leaves.

Why?

Unicorns represent to me everything I’ve known in my soul for, forever. That magic is real. That believing in magic brings incredible things. That you can be anything you want to be. You can create anything you desire in your life.

But what’s fascinating is that it took me until 35 years old to embrace it FULLY. To let it shine; to show up; to be me; to allow myself to be seen. To celebrate, this tattoo was born and upon my arm it lives.

Recently I’ve been reflecting on all the things that have transpired in the last couple of years; and this was just another one of those incredible moments in time that I stepped up for myself and committed to my life again.

People ask me, “How do you just change?”. I let them know that Step 1 – is to decide. Decide to believe; because your best thinking got you to where you are today; and if you don’t like where you are today; you need to decide to choose differently.

What do you decide today?

Love,

Faith Healer 💜🦄

Unicorn Tattoo April 29

 

Advertisements

Faith Healer

I want to introduce you to someone. It’s been a struggle to embrace and know this person because she challenges me beyond belief. She shows me things I don’t know or want to believe or understand. She has pushed my limits, she has put me into situations that I have no choice but to learn from. She gave me the toughest of moments to struggle through the mud with, and she made me stab my glittery Unicorn horn in some dark places.

She puts her hands on me and she shakes me to my core until I have no choice but to see, know, feel and love.

But, oh my she shows me beauty, she shows me truth, she shows me magic and miracles and absolute divinity. She runs a current through my body, and she sets my hands on fire. She channels messages and she lights the way.

I was introduced to her 15 months ago, and as it was explained to me who she was, I still didn’t quite understand.

This morning, she put her hands around my existence, poured her essence into me and I knew.

When I first met her, it was the same day that my love White Eagle (Adrian) was guided to allow me to smoke his Canupa (Sacred Pipe), as up to that point it had been his personal pipe only. It was the same day, that I knew life in a way I had never experienced before. You see Adrian introduced me to Faith Healer; because he knew. He knew her better than she knew herself.

Today when we woke, precisely 15 months and 5 days to that moment back in time, Adrian asked me a question and in that moment I was able to now embrace in my own way who she is.

Allow me to introduce you to her.

Hello, I’m Faith Healer, and it is a humble, grateful, pleasure to be here. 💜🦄

FaithHealer

As a Woman

As a girl; I was silenced.
As a girl; I was ignored.
As a girl; I was shamed.
As a girl; I was mistreated.
As a girl; I was in deep pain.
As a girl; I was chosen last.
As a woman; I know my power.
As a woman; I know my soul.
As a woman; I know my heart.
As a woman; I rise above.
As a woman; I use my voice.
As a woman; I embrace my truth.
As a woman; I stand tall.
As a woman; I smile.
As a woman; I surrender.

In honour of International Women’s Day
~Heather Lynn Tobin, March 8, 2018 💜🦄

The Hidden Gift that Made Itself Known

I don’t remember when I first realized I was intuitive. I believe I used to be referred to as highly sensitive. I also don’t remember when I realized I was a healer, but I do remember always being put into situations sometimes by choice and sometimes by force, to “be the rock”. I remember being in my mid-teens and going to the hospital to walk my Nanny (maternal side) out to the car after she’d sat with my Grandfather for a few hours after he’d passed. The week before, I knew it would be the last time he’d be alive when I said goodbye after a visit. The anniversary of that is this Friday.

Around 20, I slept on my paternal grandfather’s side of the bed beside my grandmother, when we got the call around 5am from the hospital, saying that he’d passed in his sleep. It was Easter Weekend, and I was one of the last people he spoke to coherently in his drug induced state that was keeping him comfortable.

So, in the last couple of weeks, I’m picking up on folks who have passed over. Their energy, their behaviours, their actions. This is new for me. I don’t mind it, but it’s made me a bit uncomfortable because its new, and I’ve doubted it. Until I share it, in a gentle hesitant way, all the while my insides are screaming you shouldn’t be dabbling here. I shouldn’t be discussing “dead people”. The reality is, I’ve been surrounded by death from a very young age. Physical, emotional and spiritual. So, it actually fits.

Fits so much, that even my authentic truth, was dead.
These days, I have received so much confirmation from people I have served and their feedback has blown me away. My love even said to me one day after a visit with my parents, that he doesn’t think they have any idea how gifted I am. He gets to live with this, so if there’s anything reliable there, it’s that he sees me in action every day. Lucky guy? Poor guy? I suppose it depends on the moon phase that day. (yes, humour is part of this gig)

Up until about 5 years ago (maybe more maybe less..), I had little to no support for my Intuition and my Healing gifts. I had a few teachers and supervisors say I was a “natural” at what I did when counselling people, running groups, or discussing mental health and addiction concerns. But the intuition and natural ability to heal for decades, I was told, it was all in my head. So I tried to stay clinical. I tried to be the textbook counsellor, but every now and again, the Intuitive Counsellor showed up. Eyes wide, hearts open, and feedback received, that became my way. Allowing myself to tap into the medicine organically, without the standard scales and measures of testing or asking questions.

As my Intuition and Healing abilities were in a death march up until not so long ago, it resulted in life long migraines, a terrible stomach and very depressive and anxious states. I still swing from one mood to the next, because I spent more years ignoring it, hiding it and being shamed by it, than I have embracing it. So I’m still working through the kinks. As a kid, I remember thinking I had a robot living in my bedroom closet. Hindsight is that I’m fairly certain this was my first encounter with a Spirit. But I was too afraid to say anything to him, or hear him, so I just laid in my bed and hid.

Some days it felt like a blessing and some days it felt like a curse.

In the last month, I have lost count of how many readings and intuitive messages I have done and noticed a common theme. Often when I’m doing them, the words don’t sound like mine, the phrases aren’t lined up the way I’d phrase them and it feels so peculiar. In the past my readings and messages were spaced apart and I didn’t see what was happening. So does that mean I’m now channelling?

Am I psychic? Am I a medium? Am I an Intuitive? I have felt such negative connotation towards the words psychic and medium. I’ve never used them to describe myself because I thought that people would go back to doubting and shaming me, after all the hard work I’ve put in to embrace being an “Intuitive”. Or people would be thinking wow, she can’t make up her mind on what to call herself.

The truth is, I’ve struggled with labels and what to call myself for years. What do you put on the business card? Do I put anything? I’ve had Coach, Mentor, Healer, Intuitive, Life Coach, Intuitive Healing Coach, the list goes on. In school you are given phrases and grades for your “you-ness”. The word Gifted often came up. Maybe I should throw that in for good measure? Perhaps “Closet Psychic Medium” is the next one I should run with?

I suppose whatever the label or title is, I just need to surrender to it and allow the gifts to come through as they need to.
I can no longer hide from, or run from my truth. Especially when I invite people to always live theirs.

P.S. If you google dead people, don’t. If you google Spirits, you’ll get mostly pictures of alcohol. So to cleanse my retinas, I went with a pretty butterfly, because once again I am going through a metamorphosis. 

 

butterfly

But HOW?

We often hear people talking about letting go of the “how”, when it comes to taking steps on a goal or a decision that needs to be made, and if we truly surrender it, oh my the things that come.
 
Yesterday, while I was reflecting on keep doing, stop doing and change how I do it “stuff” – I received an email. It was a blog post from a woman who I was in a business group with last year and had stayed in contact with. I was delighted, as I wanted to read what she had written.
You can read that blog here: https://www.kathymercure.com/blog/
 
When I got to the part where she included my name and part of the reading I had done, it blew me away. I wasn’t expecting it, I didn’t ask for it. It wasn’t even on my radar. I was touched by how my message reached her heart and now, she had reached mine.
 
You see what she and no one else knows, is that I regularly struggle with what I should continue to do versus not do with my healing practice. Should I keep doing readings? Or should I do hand written intuitive messages? Should I do hands on healing? Or stick with remote work? Should I do one on one coaching or only focus on my group? Should I write the workbooks I’m thinking of? Or should I do audio downloads? Should I do it all? Or just focus on one thing at a time.
Her message also came through the day before I’m headed to a Psychic Fair today, yup you guessed it, to do readings.
So, readings stay. Got it. Thanks Universe. This is another example of “signs” at work.
 
Just shy of a year ago, I found a tea cup with a beautiful artwork on it, I remember crying as I held it in the store because it touched me so much. Within a couple of days, I had found the artist online, shared my experience with her, and we had a beautiful chat one creator to another, and I want to quote what I read of hers that turned things around for me that day before her and I chatted.
 
“Before anything else, my work is about honouring my life process, my journey, through my fires, from places of pain and darkness to places that I might stand in my truth; my work is not a career, it’s a way of life.” ~Francis Dick
 
Here’s my truth.
 
 
My work, is my way of life also. It’s 4:47 AM. I’m sitting here in a nightgown and a robe with my hood over my head (yup that picture). I’ve been awake since 3 because I went to bed at 7:30 after being awake at 2 and 3 the previous nights. I’m not ruminating, just awake.
 
I was very agitated 2 hours ago because I WANT to be my best today for all the lovely souls who I’ll meet. I want to be my best today for all of those people who will invest in a reading with me today.
 
I want to be my best today, because I so very much want my life to be different 6 months from now… well 4 if you consider I was told 2 months ago to “give myself 6 months..” during a channeled message I received for myself. So I kinda feel like the clock is ticking.
 
But as I sit here, in the soft glow of a salt lamp, and my laptop dimmed as much as possible, I realize something. This is a “how” moment.
 
Creator woke me up. Creator always wakes me up. (We will have a one sided discussion about this later..I’m sure )
 
My how this morning, is showing up as I am, because I was called to the page, to writing about signs, and art, and creation and life choices.
 
Writing about knowing when to listen.
 
Writing about knowing that our work, my work, is so very deeply important in this world, and we never know who we touch, inspire or support.
 
So if I have to sit here in the middle of the night/morning wrapped in my heavy weight champion prize fighting robe with my favourite knit one of a kind blanket on my lap, doing what I need to do, then that’s how… it’ll have to be.
 
Love,
Heather 💜🦄
 
 RYM

Card Readings for Mental Health

So I just had a epic inspired idea!!! This is why I am up at 5AM, Magic happens!
 
I decided to EXTEND my discount offer to Friday February 2nd BECAUSE for every order I receive I will be donating 50% of what I earn to a Mental Health Initiative in honour of #BellLetsTalk today.
 
22% discount code is “DEEPER” use at the checkout for credit card, or if you want to use e-transfer or pay pal please contact me.
 
1 card reading is $19.50 (reg. $25)
3 card reading is $44.46 (reg. $57)
 
Remember! Half of your investment is doing to a mental Health Initiative.
 
Readings will be delivered via email or Facebook Messenger and not a live appointment.
 
Book and see more details here
 
MHdonation

The Company We Keep ~ Chapter 2 – The Family, Round 2

This isn’t about playing victim or laying blame, this is just how it was. I’ve done a lot of healing and reconciling around that, but that was the reality, and actually still is for many people.
 
For the sake of brevity, I’ll just say that it took me five years to talk to my doctor about how I felt after my first anxiety attack, I was prescribed medication for it, saw a Psychiatrist, was never officially diagnosed with depression, and eventually got suicidal. My mid-teens to my mid to late 20s was a daily roller coaster ride. Yes, mostly from feeling like I didn’t belong, because I didn’t, but I had to grow through those times, in order to get to where I was headed.
 
Reflecting back, I now understand those moments to be me having no one around who resonated with my soul truth at that phase in my life. I didn’t even resonate with my own soul. It was a constant battle for me. My actions were so low frequency that I was completely out of alignment with my truth. Keep in mind at that point I didn’t even have language to explain this, I just felt, off, which is why I was so depressed and suicidal.
 
So how did I manage to survive the last 10 years since my decision of wanting to die or find a new path? Well, to start with, it was suggested that maybe I go back to school. So in September of 2009, I took the first step of aligning with my soul path, and studied addictions. Yep, it jumped off the page from the course catalog and as I recall it, was probably one of the first times I ever really deeply “saw” something for more than what it was. This lead me down a road of self discovery, and taught me so many things about life, myself, and others.
It also continued to teach me about my family.
 
Why do you want to help *those* people? Couldn’t pick something else? You better not psycho-analyze me. So you think you’re better than us because you’re an addictions counsellor? You can’t make that your only focus Heather. It must get boring to only have that one thing in your life. What they didn’t know, and what I probably am only realizing now as I write this, is that one thing, changed the direction of my life forever, and the hell I went through to take those steps, I will be forever grateful. Working full time and having class 3 nights a week, got be back to my soul, it lit me up, I blossomed, and I’m sure it saved my life.
 
But, on it went. The slippery slope of rejection, disapproval, and me taking one action step after the next, to step into my soul path. This was only the beginning step, and to this day, I continue to hear the odd comment or backhanded remark about my choices, my beliefs and how I choose to live my life today. It is VASTLY different than anyone I knew in my family as I was growing up, and it has taken me a while to accept that that’s okay.
 
But damn, it was hard. To be that different one.
 
So how did I do it? How did I deal with those beliefs about family that were drilled into me? It took some time but over the years, this is how it unfolded. I started to fight back when people expected that I should/shouldn’t do something. I get a good mean face and angry tone when I do that too. I get a little.. unicorn-stabby. I get cutting, and nasty. Eventually I realized that although that became my protective mechanism, it didn’t make me feel so great. It worked while it worked, but then I decided to try a different way. I tried to explain things differently when asked; where I’d been for X number of years. I started to make excuses like, I’ve been busy, things just get so crazy, one minute it’s Christmas, and the next minute it’s Summer. I had a master list of go-to reasons whenever anyone would ask what had happened on such and such weekend and why I couldn’t attend.
 
Although it may have been lying, I knew I couldn’t fight anymore, but I also knew that I really had to find a way to preserve myself in those moments whenever they happened.
The lying didn’t feel good either though. Even though they again were a tool to protect myself, I eventually just got silent with certain people if they asked anything I didn’t feel like answering. I learned that “no” was a complete sentence.
My world, my reality, my truth was all coming together even though it felt like it was falling apart. I realized how soul sucking it was to be around certain people.
 
Did it suck? Yes. Was it fun? No. Did it slowly become the new normal? Yes. Am I happy, healthier, and more soul aligned because I tell people I’m an orphan who was found under a rock? (kidding..) but yes. I am.
 
Eventually, after another decade+, I sit here writing this, remembering how awful it felt to lay on my couch, in the basement I lived in, and wonder what was happening at a wedding, or a function of some kind. Which I now realize was my addiction to my fear of missing out. I think the cool kids call that FOMO these days.
 
I knew though, how sensitive I was to the company I kept. So, I chose me, just as I continue to choose me.
 
Let’s say you have that “Strange Aunt”, who never married, moved to a cabin in the woods, and no one has heard much from in 7 years. That strange aunt is probably the one who has it figured out. She’s not out there finding herself, she’s getting the heck away from all the misaligned company! I’m only sort of joking, think about it.
 
When you clear your life of people who don’t resonate, you make room for people that do. I know that this may go against the grain of the “family is everything” believers, and that’s okay, because if that works for you, I’m honestly grateful that we get to experience different realities when it comes to our families.
 
I hold no resentment, no anger, and no unfinished business, that I know of at this point in my life and healing, towards my family. It took me time to get there, but I did. Do I get sad sometimes that things aren’t different? Or better for certain people in my family? Yes of course, but that’s because I’m an empath, a believer and an Intuitive who knows just how divine life can be, if you embrace it.
The family is a challenging one at best, but believe me, you really can choose differently for yourself.
 
Love,
Heather 💜🦄
 
Next Up? The Company We Keep ~ Chapter 3 – Friends. Which may be more than 1 round, I haven’t started it yet. That would be un-living-in-the-moment-of-me. So for now, I’ll just say, it’s coming, and I’m looking forward to seeing it when it arrives.

The Company We Keep ~ Chapter 2 – The Family, Round 1

Every cell in my body feels like a fireworks display as I think about unraveling this topic even further, and that’s how I know my Healer soul is saying this is a must.

The response publicly and privately to my write up the other day titled, The Company We Keep, absolutely blew me away. I’m grateful, honoured and humbled by those who said they wanted more, and wanted to share it out further.

Due to those conversations, reactions and questions, it reminded me of how it felt to deal with aspects of those struggles, changes, and people. So, I’ve decided to do something I’ve never done before. I’m answering the call to keep writing on this topic. I’m fully open to hear from you if there is a specific area you’d like me to cover. For today, we start with the family.

Welcome to day 2.

THEY are your blood Heather! You can’t just STOP talking to your family. You are SUPPOSED to help them. You are supposed to show up to functions. You know they are the ones who will be there for you if anything ever happens. So you better smarten up.

Here we go, another moment in time of Heather being told to ignore her soul.

It is nothing shy of awful to have these beliefs shot at you from every angle. Whether it be from parents or friends, or strangers with opinions, I’m sure you’ve heard them.

One of these days your parents won’t be here anymore and you’ll regret the lack of time you’ve spent with them.

You have one surviving Grandmother that you haven’t seen in nearly 3 years, all because she said something that “hurt your feelings”?. She probably didn’t even know what she said, or the impact so just let it go. So it’s okay to be unaware and misuse our words, got it!

Or when someone starts comparing, and says, I lost my mother when I was 10 years old, I’d do anything to have her back. You should be happy yours is alive! Really? Do you know what my mother was like to me when I was 10 years old?

Wistful sigh. I hope you’re relaxing somewhere comfortable as you read this. As a Healer, I can feel myself picking up on the energy of those old days, the drama, the conflict, thankfully I’m sipping some hot lemon honey water to detox as it comes up. One of the things I’ve learned is, it’s okay to feel crappy and have feelings, and express them. Learned that, sans family as well.

You see, I craved connection. I craved deep conversations about life and Spirituality. I loved my self-help books, and learning new ways to think and be. I loved writing (as you can tell, still do). I started getting excited about things that no one in my family appeared to be connected with. So not only did spending time with them no longer feel right, my new ideas, ways and interests were discovered outside of them.

You can’t discover new things, if you don’t take a step in a different direction than the one you’ve been headed in.

I realized as I observed these people, that if they weren’t family I wouldn’t be spending time with them.

Mind-blown.

Which, has lead to my favourite question on this topic. “If they weren’t your family, would you have them in your life?”

As you sit with that question, stay tuned as there is oh so much more coming.

Love,
Heather

The Company We Keep

Exhibit A – This person always tries to be the center of attention. Always tries to alleviate stresses and pressures by being funny.  Breaking up the monotony of situations by setting up some sort of joke or tactic for people to engage with, and distract the situation from whatever it is.  This person also, withholds information during conversations, when sharing about details that are bothering them.  This person also has deep interests in pointing out when others are doing something incorrectly, and will argue to the end of time.  Someone walking away from them saying, I’m not having this conversation anymore, is a “win” in their books. A real, chip on their shoulder kinda person.

Exhibit B – This person is positive.  Doesn’t like to be the center of attention, but it organically turns out that way.  They are very captivating, interesting and everything they say is logical, balanced, and intentional.  They don’t pick fights, but they do defend their position, to a point, and then, they will walk away.  They are honest, straightforward, reliable and never feel that anyone owes them anything.

I’ve been friends with both exhibits for many years.  In the last couple of years, my friendship with exhibit A, had lessened, because I simply didn’t want to be around that energy anymore.  I found it tiresome, contained, and not helpful at all.  I used to be very good friends with them, because I used to be in the same mindset.  I would tirelessly find reasons to be negative, seek out the bad in situations, allow situations to become worse than what they are, and go down the rabbit hole of misery.

My friendship with exhibit B, has been expansive, fulfilling, positive, supportive, and cherished!  We collaborate and collude in ways that are thought-provoking, uplifting, and take real every day situations and conversations and turn them into moments to learn and grow.

The other day, exhibit A said to me, I don’t trust exhibit B.  They are too positive and I never feel like I get an honest response.

I was aghast.

My immediate reaction was to say that exhibit B is one of the most honest people I know, and that everything they say is deeply truthful.  That I am the same way, and although it may not appear to be the case, I am very much like exhibit B.

Exhibit A, then managed to change the conversation back into what we were originally talking about, which was a complaint about a work situation.  They took my “I’m just feeling frustrated about some things today…” and managed to rope me in to a lengthy discussion about what, who, how, why and so on.  How? Easily, I let my boundary down.  My boundary of remembering that not everyone is an Exhibit B, no matter how much we want them to be. No matter how much we desire friendships to come along with us, when we change.

I felt like shit. It completely drained the rest of the energy I had left.

But, exhibit A, doesn’t know any better.  They don’t choose to do better.  So I was reminded of why my time with Exhibit A is limited, and civil, and my time with Exhibit B, is the go to option when I need a place to park my thoughts and feelings.

If you’re choosing to change and grow, be careful of the company you keep.  You will be faced with decisions around this quite often, because the truth is, that’s just how humans work.  Re-writing your thought patterns isn’t necessarily easy, but it is possible.

Once you surrender to this, I guarantee you, you’ll flourish.

I know I did.

Love,
Heather

Manifesting and Clarity

The other day I saw a short and sweet post that said 2018 is about manifesting and clarity.

I loved this.

Clarity is one of my super powers that I bring to any situation, and manifesting and I go way back.

I have been having a casual affair with the law of attraction for nearly a decade, and I’ve committed once in a while, but then quickly abandoned it.

Just this week, after a few divinely timed events, I was reflecting on everything I have called into my life in the last couple of years in a very intentional way.

I mean everything.

All the good stuff, and all the seemingly “not so good” stuff.

I remembered the books I would fill with pages and pages of gratitude.  Line after line I would write everything I was grateful for, including the stuff that hadn’t yet physically arrived, but was on it’s way to me.

I would write how I felt about all those things, as I created stories about how it would feel, and really got into the vibe as if whatever it was, had already arrived and I was living it, receiving it, or experiencing it in some way.

You know, I believe in the woo.  I believe in the magic, but as life happens, the magic gets put on the backburner and it sometimes slips away for a moment or two, and then we are left with doubts because the “thing” never came to fruition.

We give up.

We give up because we are tired, frustrated, impatient and easily annoyed humans.

Some of us, come back to it, some of us don’t.  Some don’t even try, yet they continue to gripe about the problem, rather than living in the solution. (Definitely in my top 10 list of pet peeves)

You know the people. The people who have given up? The people who you see several years later, still stuck in the same relationship, job, home, lifestyle and nothing has changed. Yup, those folks.

So I had to own this and look at the areas that I’ve been unsatisfied with, and feel into what action steps I would take going forward to manifest what I wanted in those areas.

Last night as I was preparing for bed, I read todays message from Yasmin Boland (she’s awesome check her out) from her book Moonology, she writes;

Crescent Moon in Pisces: This is the time to allow your dreams to blossom and flourish. If it doesn’t sound too poetic, think of yourself and your dreams as a flower that’s opening up.

Remember, the Moon is moving from being invisible to full power, and it’s the same for your dreams.

Right now you might not be able to see what you’re going to manifest, but before too long they will start to show up, just as the sliver of the Waxing Crescent Moon is showing up in the skies.”

Another reminder, for me to keep dreaming, keep believing, and keep trusting. Just because I (we) can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Do.

Not.

Quit.

On this calm, blessed morning, if you are open to receive, I send you a big beautiful dose of love to infuse into your being for the magic and manifesting power you would like to call in, for the good of all, or not at all.

Love,

Heather
~RockYourMud RockYourMud2