What Comes After Great Loss

From the Heather Archives August 21 2016

Current Update: August 21 2018 – The direction that my life headed in after experiencing that loss, is a direction I am grateful for, it brought me to a level of clarity, wellness and direction I had previously not experienced. It has given me gifts, experiences and love. Each day I become even more focused and stronger in my knowing, and “home” has a new beautiful meaning once again.

August 22, 2014, I walked into my first home. Yes, Luna and I had lived in many places before, but none of them were home. We packed the essentials, kitty litter, bed, and food. A duvet, couch cushions (to sleep on), my pillow, and a change of clothes. Trying to move the darling Queen kitty on the day of the move had always been nothing shy of a nightmare with her, so this time I got wise. We would spend the evening in our home, sleeping on the floor, camped out, and excited as all hell to be in a place to call my own. Of course neither of us got much sleep, since I would gasp and hide under the duvet and she would bury her head at the various sounds and the things that go “bump in the night” when it comes to sleeping in new places. One thing was for sure, we had one another, and we were going to enjoy every minute of this part of our adventure.

In her eyes, the condo had wall to wall bed (carpet). She would roll around in the sun, and always retreat to the solarium whenever I left the door open for her. Whenever I was on the balcony she’d sit inside on my step and look out at me, upset because I was out of reach. About a year after we moved in, it became evident that my girl was getting older, not as spunky, and a bit more pained. From raised food bowls, to using an ottoman so she could get up on the bed, I made sure that she was able to do whatever she needed with ease. Unfortunately, Luna was only able to enjoy living here for just over a year, before age and illness took us down another path. It was time for her to be freed of her pain. For me, a whole new level of pain to heal.

As I held her for her last breath, I wasn’t sure how I could continue, she was my rock, and what most people don’t know, is that she had saved my life, but now I had to comprehend ending hers.

I still don’t.

I thought I would be able to celebrate this two year anniversary, as we all know I love any reason to celebrate, but I am torn with deep bittersweet feelings. I’m grateful to have my home, my space, my sanctuary. I worked hard for it. I struggled for it. I busted serious ass and spent a great deal of time healing my life journey to get to where I am.

One thing that remains forever changed, is how different home feels, without her here. Tonight, I pray that she visits me, her energy infuses with mine, and I get to feel what home feels like again. Just one more time.

You Can’t Call Yourself a Healer

It has taken me a few days to compose this. I’ve been pulled in two different directions between “Human-ing” and “Spiritual-ing”. Which makes sense; and also doesn’t make sense. Yay!

Some of you may have seen my post the other day about the 111 message.

“Angel Number 111 encourages you to assist and inspire the human race via your natural abilities, relying upon your inner-wisdom and intuition to guide you. Be an inspirational guiding light to bring illumination to others and to help raise spiritual awareness.”

Illuminate. And Natural. Abilities.

I had to let that sink in for a moment. So, I was born with this. I’ve been, on the right path?

Just the other day I was talking about “un-traditional” healing methods; and “un-conventional” medicine. As the conversation went on; it hit me so clearly. These are our innate natural abilities and we all have them. There’s nothing “un” about any of it. Our ways, are the natural ways. We’ve just been conditioned and taught to believe differently.

Questioning myself isn’t a new concept. For those of you who’ve known me for a long while know that this is something I do regularly. I wasn’t born with that, but I was conditioned to believe I wasn’t good enough. I was wrong. I wasn’t who I said I was. Feeling like a fraud for many years of my life. It has taken a lot of soul searching and work to get to now. Some days, it’s exhausting.

Excellent clarity.
I’ve got this.

Then, just to keep things fun, the Universe throws an experience, or I call in an experience depending on your school of thought, to once again question myself.

A few weeks back I met someone who said, “we can’t call ourselves healers”. YOU, Heather can’t call yourself a healer.

I felt like I’d be stabbed. I mean I’ve never been stabbed, but if I was, I’m thinking that’s how it would have felt.

How was I going to rise up and meet this one. In a matter of minutes, I couldn’t hear what the person was saying anymore, and down the mental rabbit hole I went. I saw myself dashing home to polish up my “corporate resume” just in case the “Label Police” came after me and I needed to find a “real job”.

Then, it changed, and I quite literally snapped out of it when the person who had said this stepped out of the room at the time. I turned to my friend who was with me during this experience and I said, (and when I say I, I mean, the part of me that “knows”) but I am Faith Healer. I’ll spare the rest of the conversation, and I do respect this “you can’t call yourself a healer” person for their ability to stand in their belief and power; and this is me standing in mine.

A few weeks and a whole lot of processing and reflection later…

Am I a “Healer”? Let’s break it down. I am a channel for energy work. I am a channel for intuitive insights, that are delivered through me, not “by” me, I connect with those who have passed when they want to come through, I wave my hands, flap my arms,(seriously I do..that’s the Thunderbird..) I say the words, and people feel better. Is that a healing? Does that make me a healer?

The inquiry goes on, and what I do know for sure, is we all have the ability to heal ourselves or destroy ourselves.

I can, and have done both. I destroy everything that no longer serves and therefore heal parts of myself. I’ve also destroyed myself a few times over. But Unicorns have unlimited lives so it’s all good. Thankfully I’m a lot less soul destructive these days.

When I am in ceremony with someone; I illuminate perspectives ideas and way, and then it is up to them to decide if they want to continue to destroy or heal.

Another viewpoint, I have the ability to illuminate the possibility of healing if the recipient wants it. Does that make me a “healer”? One who helps with healing? I could go in circles with this all day! Someone stop the merry go round!

I’ve decided that I will no longer refer to my medicines, talks, gifts, services or offers as “alternative” or “non-traditional” or “un-conventional”. These “old labels” are no longer aligned or acceptable for me. I won’t hide, or play small, or disregard what I am hearing daily. No more.

Why? Because these are NATURAL abilities. When something is natural. it is not alternative! I look around and I see plant medicine, and trees and grass and I feel alive and empowered – they are natural are they not? They are not un-conventional. They are healers.

As I write this I see a little brown bunny having a brilliant time on my neighbours lawn and he keeps calling my attention. He is calm, and perfect, and natural. He, is a healer.

This whole experience was for me to deepen into my truth. My undeniable, healing truth.

I stand before you; humbled, yet powerful, grateful, yet in awe, knowing, and clearer than I have ever felt.

Faith Healer 💜🦄

Believe 💫

At 5:15 this morning while White Eagle was still sleeping, I tiptoed (as much as one can tiptoe in a trailer) to the kitchen to make a coffee and enjoy some morning ME time. For my sanity, and well let’s be honest, the preservation of others.

I reached into the cabinet to pull out a mug, after hitting the others of course…

Sidebar: why is it when you’re trying to be quiet you’re
I N S A N E L Y L O U D?!

This mug is one of two of my favourite things with the word Believe and both were dollar store finds! Double bonus! This mug and I have had many mornings together. Mornings of quiet contemplation, reflection, decisions made, questions answered, feelings felt. I have shed almost more tears over the power of the statement on this mug, than I have watching Grey’s Anatomy.

As I stood there this morning, mug in hand, I looked down at my arm, and realized how often we are asked “how” we created a life we love.

I can hear the conversations, and they often go something like this…

Heather, how did you create this though? How did your life evolve to where you wanted it?

I manifested it.

No seriously how did you do it? Did you win the lottery?

I believed.

Okay come on, be serious, don’t give me this airy fairy, fluffy, positivity stuff. Tell me how you called in all the things that you are always glowing about?

Let me show you something. I rise my arm and show my Unicorn tattoo, and I say, It’s about…. Believing. When you choose to believe, then, and only then does it happen. Yes that’s right when I hit 35, I decided to start believing in Unicorns. So much so that a million little needle marks made it permanent on my arm.

Other person: Okay fine. I know.. but.

The first place to start is dropping the phrase “I know but..”

I know but. The greatest line ever to hold the energy of non-believe-ing.

Stop. Let that sink in for a minute.

You are actively NOT believing when you add ~ “I know but” to a sentence.

Where are you “I know but-ing” in your life?

As I stood there and this message came through to share, a song popped into my head. A song that was written and released 25 years ago. Something shook me, I felt sadness for all the people who don’t believe. Because I know what it’s like, to not. I too had what I call an “existence” before choosing to believe there was more, or better, or at least a certain level of “okay-ness” that I wasn’t experiencing yet.

I extracted a couple lines from Believe (’93) by Lenny Kravitz and Henry J. Hirsch.

If you want it you got to believe
Believe in yourself
‘Cause being free is just a state of mind
We’ll one day leave this all behind
Just put your faith in God (Creator/Universe/WhatSuitsYou/HigherPower) Hot tip
And one day you’ll see it
The future’s in our present hands  this
Let’s reach right in
Let’s understand
If you want it you’ve got to believe  and this!

You see, I had to deeply commit to Believing. Now, every single day, multiple times a day, I am shown. I am given more evidence than I could ever ask for to help me keep going.

If you’ve made it this far, I thank you. I thank you for allowing me to share a piece of my heart with you. A piece of soul. A piece of our “Wow”.

An Invitation.

Are you ready for more? Are you ready to surrender? Are you ready to embrace now? Are you ready to Rock Your Mud? Are you ready to Believe? Are you ready to consider just one little bit, that maybe if you gave Believing a fraction of the effort you put into not-believing, you may Design a Life You Love?

I invite anyone who feels called, to join my humble beautiful space, and a group of love filled, focused people here at Rock Your Mud I talk abundance, gratitude, healing, the down and dirty of the mud and life, to the sparkling shine of magic and wonder… and just so much more.

My mission is to help as many people as I can.

It’s time. It’s your time.

Faith Healer 



Surrender To the Magic

If you had told me that White Eagle and I would co-create all of these changes that have come through in the last few months I’d have laughed.
A handful of months ago we had casually chatted about what we wanted; but we didn’t know how it looked, or when it would happen or how. In those moments we were choosing to stay in the city.
We were choosing to stay at our jobs, and our life as it was. Please know, that we knew and we trusted – that one day down the road something would shift; we didn’t know when or how and we certainly take any typical specific action to make it happen.
Today, as White Eagle enters his 4 day closing ceremony of his tenure at his current job; I sit here reflecting, balanced, focused and felt compelled to share with all of you just a little bit of this chapter.
Our chosen family, our friends, our supporters, our kindred spirits and those who just need a little something to sip on this morning.
When January of 2018 rolled around my energy, mood and general attitude was in a less than stellar state. Things just were not feeling okay for me. Day in and day out, life was really kicking my Unicorn ass. As I dragged myself into work every day, there were days I’d be in tears in the parking lot, or at home afterwards because I just couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t the job or the people; it was me. It just didn’t align anymore; and I was hurting deeply because of it.
I knew things needed to change; years of personal development, studying and counselling others, thankfully I was taking a dose of my own medicine.
When March rolled around, we didn’t set out and look for a new apartment; or a new job, or do anything typical that would involve finding these things. It was just hey wouldn’t it be nice if… or.. oh hey you know what we should do… and that excitement shifted something in me. It changed my vibration. I went from depression and malaise to engaged and alive again. We just talked about how good it would be; we didn’t spend countless hours searching, waiting wondering, pining for something new.
I just woke up one morning and while trying to decide on switching a cellular service; said WTF am I doing this now for on a Saturday morning; and I heard in my head “go on Kijiji look at Stouffville apartments right now.” That’s how we found it. It was that easy. It was that ‘done’.
In May, while laughing hysterically at the fact that yet another HR manager was leaving the company I was at, the words “Help me leave too” came out of my mouth. Eyes wide; I had my “oh FFFFFF###%%” what just came out of my MOUTH?! moment.
How do you call this in? How do you connect to this divine way of being? How do you just “be okay”?
We surrendered. We took our hands off the wheel. We stopped projecting, we let go of control, we don’t push things, we don’t demand.
We surrendered to whatever the Creator had in the plan for us.
You see when we first started out; I didn’t even know we would make it. I joke now when I say; our relationship was on Tuesdays because back then that was White Eagle’s only day off. That was my first big surrender.
I remember praying; okay Creator, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing because I feel something here. I see something here; and by golly it is NOT what I had thought it would look like, but this is on you man. Seriously! That’s pretty much exactly what I said.
As the Creator spoke to him, and to me, things just unfolded, naturally.
The more we surrendered, let go of beliefs and ideas on ‘shoulds’, released expectations and standards, the more aligned we became to our own individual truths, and ultimately remained connected.
In order for us to arrive at today; we had to allow the death of the old.
If you had told me a year ago; I’d bit sipping sacred cacao from Guatemala, just barely a week and a half since leaving my corporate world job, listening to tribal music, channeling dead people, conducting intuitive readings and healings and home clearings and have the love of my life support me with every move and shake rattle and roll I could come up with in the last few WEEKS (not months, not years.. weeks) I’d tell you; you were nuts.
I still wake up some days and my first thought is… “wow”.
If you’d told me that by leaving my job; my feet, legs, hips and back would stop hurting me so much it was almost debilitating I wouldn’t have believed you. (And I’ve studied and taught this stuff for years).
Here’s some TMI stuff just to drive the point home a little harder…
If you told me that my IBS symptoms would D I S A P P E A R almost overnight, I’d have laughed at you until I sent you into orbit as stardust. Yep I’m that sassy.
If you had marked on a calendar that my moon time would return to normal exactly 3 days after wrapping up some “when are you leaving” details at that day job, I’d have eyerolled.
If you’d suggested that my new state of being would be this thing called “relaxed” – You’d have gotten a “ya ya.. sure.”
Ifs, ands, buts, and hows – have no place here now.
Part of my path and gift, is to share. To be an example of what is possible. I share it because you’re witnessing two people who have chosen to live their life very differently than they once did. Two people who have had brilliant moments; and down right—this-might-kill-me- moments. Two people who are so ridiculously humbled, grateful and amazed by what this life truly is; that we just look at one another some times and sit in the ‘wow’.
Thank you for being in the wow with us.
Faith Healer 💜🦄

July Weekly Delivery Offer

Openings Still Available!
Paid In Full Discounted Options to be secured by June 29th
Weekly Guidance and/or Healings – (there will be 5 this month!)
💜 Weekly personalized messages
💜 Weekly Healings
💜 OR Both! <- the popular option
🦄 Personalized Messages $75
Delivered at the start of each week in July your personalized channeled message will be delivered to your inbox to set you up for the week!
**NOTE: These are personalized messages! Not a mass mailing.
Investment: $75 if paid in full before Friday June 29 (Or $25 per week pay as you go)
🦄 Healings – $100
Healing energy will be sent your way on your particular area of concern, and you will receive any channeled messages that came up during the ceremony. No set appointments are necessary. We will connect weekly online briefly to go over your concern so I can focus the healing. I will sit in ceremony, and email any insights once complete.
Investment: $100 if paid in full before Friday July 29 (Or $30 per week pay as you go)
🦄 Bonus Option – Both for $150!
Weekly guidance message and healing energy sent your way for 5 weeks.
Investment $150 by Friday June 29th.
It’s your time, let’s make magic.
Questions? Send me a note!

So Much More Than Ink

Two years ago today; this beauty was inked into my arm. All of my tattoos have very intention and deep meaning for me. Not just because they are “cool”; but because I so strongly feel them and want them to be a permanent part of my existence.
I don’t know when Unicorns suddenly became “all the rage”, but I love to share with people that I embraced Unicorn medicine from my soul. I loved Unicorns separate from their “fad-like” and over-commercialized use; and I will continue to embrace their magic long after the fad leaves.


Unicorns represent to me everything I’ve known in my soul for, forever. That magic is real. That believing in magic brings incredible things. That you can be anything you want to be. You can create anything you desire in your life.

But what’s fascinating is that it took me until 35 years old to embrace it FULLY. To let it shine; to show up; to be me; to allow myself to be seen. To celebrate, this tattoo was born and upon my arm it lives.

Recently I’ve been reflecting on all the things that have transpired in the last couple of years; and this was just another one of those incredible moments in time that I stepped up for myself and committed to my life again.

People ask me, “How do you just change?”. I let them know that Step 1 – is to decide. Decide to believe; because your best thinking got you to where you are today; and if you don’t like where you are today; you need to decide to choose differently.

What do you decide today?


Faith Healer 💜🦄

Unicorn Tattoo April 29


Faith Healer

I want to introduce you to someone. It’s been a struggle to embrace and know this person because she challenges me beyond belief. She shows me things I don’t know or want to believe or understand. She has pushed my limits, she has put me into situations that I have no choice but to learn from. She gave me the toughest of moments to struggle through the mud with, and she made me stab my glittery Unicorn horn in some dark places.

She puts her hands on me and she shakes me to my core until I have no choice but to see, know, feel and love.

But, oh my she shows me beauty, she shows me truth, she shows me magic and miracles and absolute divinity. She runs a current through my body, and she sets my hands on fire. She channels messages and she lights the way.

I was introduced to her 15 months ago, and as it was explained to me who she was, I still didn’t quite understand.

This morning, she put her hands around my existence, poured her essence into me and I knew.

When I first met her, it was the same day that my love White Eagle (Adrian) was guided to allow me to smoke his Canupa (Sacred Pipe), as up to that point it had been his personal pipe only. It was the same day, that I knew life in a way I had never experienced before. You see Adrian introduced me to Faith Healer; because he knew. He knew her better than she knew herself.

Today when we woke, precisely 15 months and 5 days to that moment back in time, Adrian asked me a question and in that moment I was able to now embrace in my own way who she is.

Allow me to introduce you to her.

Hello, I’m Faith Healer, and it is a humble, grateful, pleasure to be here. 💜🦄