2018

rockyourmud
 
It has been just over 12 hours since I woke. It’s been about 10 since I tried to compose “just the right” piece for a year end message.
 
It has been about 5 minutes, since I realized that I really don’t need to write/say/do anything. As today was about me looking inward, reflecting and feeling.
 
I sat with my beautiful new smudge bowl in front of me, a candle lit, and played my drum. I prayed to the Creator. Everything I needed to “say”, I felt in my heart, and knew my previous attempts were coming from a different place.
 
You see, everything I thought I needed to do today, was a creation of my mind.
 
When I got into my heart, I was gifted these words.
 
Keep it simple.
 
Everything in life, can be simplified if we embrace each 24 hour gift with love. Love in our actions, our thoughts and words. By focusing on today, this moment, right here right now, we will build a week, a month, and soon, a year. Don’t put pressure on 2018 to “hopefully be better than the last”. Just take things one day at a time, from a love filled space.
 
Happy New Year, New Day, New Minute.
 
Love,
Heather 💜🦄
 

A Magical Grinch

The annual “label” thrown my way is that I’m a Grinch. So, here we go. I proudly stand before you with my magical Grinch words and offer you the latest from my soul.
 
I’m used to labels. You see when I decided I didn’t want to “fit in” anymore, I naturally excommunicated myself mostly everyone I used to spend my time with. New friendships and connections have formed, it wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.
 
Perhaps I am anti-holiday because of what has become of them. I am anti-debt, anti-over commercialization, anti-keeping up with the Joneses, or let’s say Kardashians to keep this current, but the problems are still the same.
 
My personal all time absolute favourite thing at this time of year, are all of the alcohol references, in jokes, tv shows, memes, talk show hosts, on how best to “cope” with the holiday season.
 
Wait. Cope with the holiday season. You know, as much as I detest alcohol for a plethora of reasons, the marketing is brilliant!
 
COPE.
 
Now, before you think I’m headed for a train wreck, hear me out.
 
Why do we have to cope with the holidays? Why are the holidays so stressful? Why are they so unbearable?
 
During this time of over commercialization, debt and year end madness. Please remember to have alcohol on hand at all times to make sure you can cope with it all!! The alcohol industry is A BIG business. We all know this. We also know, they have you right in their dirty little hands. Cha-CHING!
 
Remember this, most likely within 24 hours of December 25th, everything you’ve been stressing over, agonizing over and trying to make perfect will be over. Sad isn’t it? Ho hum.
 
BUT you’ll be able to sit down with your favourite bottle and drink up! Actually, probably not your favourite because you’d already have that gone, now you’re on the last resort stuff. Which is fine, because you’ll still be able to forget all about it! In fact, why don’t you just drink during the festivities? Actually, start now! While you’re reading this post!
 
Folks, you don’t have to buy anything for anyone. You do not have to go in debt. You do not have to do what you’ve always done, because your favourite Aunt Guiltrip, and Uncle Shames will be disappointed if you don’t. I’m not here to rob you of the joy you want to create in your life, but I’m here to let you know that the build up for one day a year, can be much more aligned and deepened if you choose your actions, your gifts, and your plans with what is authentic to you.
 
There is nothing inherently wrong with gifting something to someone, but it is the overindulgence to the point that come January, all those 2017 problems you don’t want in 2018? Are right there with you. Of course, you can take one of those bottles you stashed and cope while you open your credit card bills, or, you can decide to do things differently.
 
A box of chocolates isn’t love. Perfume doesn’t get you the partner. A mountain of gifts under a perfectly good tree that has been chopped down out of a forest isn’t true happiness. (Feel free to reference former posts about nails in my sweet gifted tree to see how I feel about their pain).
 
Alcohol isn’t how you cope.
 
We bring this stress on ourselves, we allow ourselves to be entangled with people who do the same. It doesn’t have to be that way. Coping, is not living. It is existing. It is getting through the phase as pain free and as quickly as possible, yet all we do, is create more pain because we stay in the vicious cycle. We don’t actually look at what’s really going on, or why we are doing what we are doing.
 
Do what actually feels good and right in your heart. If you do decide to indulge, with gifts, plans, food or alcohol, do it consciously and ask; is this a loving act? Or an act that will lead to regret.
 
Love,
Heather, a Different Kind of Grinch 💜🦄
rockyourmuddotcom
 

Why Are They So Annoying?

You know that person who gets on your nerves? Who does everything differently than you? Who doesn’t care for their things the way you do? Or you deem ignorant, selfish or jerky. The person who walks in late all the time. The person who cuts you off in traffic that you decide to honour with a special hand gesture. The person who takes the last of something you were hoping to purchase. The person who isn’t ready to pay at the checkout and is delayed in taking their bank card out? The person who somehow manages to manipulate situations that you wish your boss would notice? The person who “has it all” and displays such on the Facebook highlight reel, yet you know they cheat on their spouse, start trivial arguments to avoid connection, or jump from one debt to another because, they really don’t have it all?
What a bunch of assholes right? I mean, how dare they inconvenience you. How inconsiderate, selfish and rude that they just take up space anywhere near your existence.
Good grief. I wish they’d just get OVER themselves, and get off this planet that they are clearly destroying just by breathing!
 
Deep cleansing breath.
 
Yes, this was me circa before-my-heart-reopened, and I’ll admit, I still have my moments, but they are brief, and I try to remember a very crucial thing. We are all just trying to survive, and in doing so, some people are very destructive, often, subconsciously. But it isn’t personal.
 
Now before you get all “ya but’y” on me, hear me out.
All of those people. Look around. Look to your left, look to your right. Look at the people you work with, live beside, go to school with, look at your family, look at your friends. They are…..
 
E V E R Y W H E R E
 
But wait, you are the common element. So let’s look at you. I’ll do it too. Don’t worry.
 
No, seriously, I’ll wait. Think about all those people, places and things you hate, that annoy you, that get on your last nerve. How does your body feel? Agitated? Shoulders up around your ears perhaps? Feeling a little… inflamed?
All the “I hate that person because…” or “If so-and-so does this, I’m going to do xyz…” or when you observe with disdain someone acting out, aren’t you exhausted? I know I was. I know I am, when I get in this head space.
 
What I’ve come to learn is that when I let these things take up space in my head, I am out of alignment. I have stepped out of soul authenticity. I have blown a hole in the bridge from getting my head in right relationship with my heart.
 
What about you? How is your hate, annoyance, frustration and negative responses helping you stay in right relationship with your true self?
 
Is now the time to see what you’re allowing to occupy your mind? Is now the time to surrender, and allow yourself to release the negative auto-response of the exasperated sigh, the finger, the raised voice?
 
Is it time to just get quiet about the stuff you currently use your time agonizing over, and let your roar be from your heart, instead of your mouth?
 
I suspect, you may be surprised with how much better you feel. I know I was. 💜🦄
rockyourmud.com
 

Moody Storm Cloud

 
I am a brilliant and beautiful moody storm cloud. I turn on a dime. I swing from one to the next. Clinically diagnosed with anything? Nope. Good Ol’ DSM hasn’t got a title for me yet. But I’m sure they are working on it for version X.
 
This week I acted differently, this morning at around 1, 2, 3 and 4 AM I knew I was not balanced in mind, body, or spirit.
 
At 4:45 I decided to choose differently after a week, of choosing differently.
 
A quick review;
 
Work was mentally taxing.
 
Body is sore.
 
Slept awful, for the first time in 2 weeks since I finally got my sleeping on track after about 2 months.
 
I had a nightmare about my mother abusing prescriptions, after 20 years of not, and continuing to lie to my face, stirring up all those feelings from my younger self. The kind where you wake up and have to remind yourself;
 
You’re safe.
 
I had a nightmare that a sweet kitty was hurt and I couldn’t get to him to help him.
 
I’ve seen things that upset me.
 
I’ve heard words that hurt me.
 
Yet, I chose to remain a bit lighter and more positive this week. Said kind things to people. Smiled. Didn’t spiral down just because I was in a mood. Enjoyed laughing with people this week over silly things. Lightened up and took a breath.
 
Trust me, I was in many moods. I’m known to be a moody person, but this week, I chose differently. Because it’s no one else’s problem if I’m in a mood, it isn’t even my problem, unless I want it to be.
 
Don’t lay your mood at someone’s feet, it’s not a gift anyone wants. 
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